Rogue of Crüxshadows, in full

2:09Hi friends. I am Tash and this is Unwritten Rules of the Road. We are joined today by the incredible Rogue of the Crew Shadows. Rogue, thank you so much for joining us today. No problem. Thank you for having me. Um, so um, you have a couple shows coming up which is very exciting. Um, like I'm so grateful that you're willing to take the time in the midst of your prep. You have a show this coming Thursday and Friday in Texas. How is the show prep going? Um, it's it's going well. I feel really good. The band sounds good. We've had no major problems going forward so far

2:59which in and of itself is maybe a little bit concerning because usually there's there's some sort of major setback and the fact that we haven't had any you know, I hope that you know, the other shoe isn't going to drop. So but yeah, things have been going really and uh I'm I'm just hoping there's a good turnout and and it's a it's a good set of shows. So we're doing it for the World Goth Day. So I guess World Goth Day Eve and World Goth Day. So you know, it's like Christmas. We're going to celebrate the Eve too, you know. I love it.

3:37Um, have you performed on around World Goth Day before or is this a first?

3:41No, no, no. I don't I don't think so. Um and I mean I suppose I have because I I a number of years ago I I went on a tour that that lasted from September to September. So, that would mean probably we were performing on World Goth Day somewhere, but um in all honesty, um no, it's not it's not been something that we we did anything that was, you uh centered around that. Yeah, so I I saw the lineup that Naika, which is the promoter, put together and I was like, this is going to be such a fantastic show. Um yeah, and such a celebration. I I love I love that World

4:23Goth Day has been a thing I've been seeing and coming into the ethers. So, yeah. Well, I think it's I think it's cool that it has um that it stuck. You know, the the you know, so many people I mean, people come up with so many different ideas and you know, some of them will last a year or two and then they're gone. And this one is kind of stuck around and and people have kind of given it legitimacy. So, I I I think it's great. Yeah, absolutely. I I think um I think that it's it's such a beautiful community. I think it's something where

5:00um for those who have been in the shadows um and found their home um for the first time. It's such a a beautiful place to be like, oh, it's it's okay to be different and to be willing to um dark music, dark culture, that sort of thing. So, yeah. Yeah, I I Yeah. Oh, go ahead. Sorry. No, no, I I you're up. Oh, um I see Ryben is saying I'm I'm excited for this one. I've been a fan of Crux Shadows since high school around Thank you for being here. Well, great. Um where where where are they coming to the to the show? Good question. Sometimes there's a

5:42little bit of a delay, so we'll we'll see. Um Ryben, are you going to be able to make it out to the show? I love I love your Audrey Audrey is it a photo or a book? I can't remember.

5:55a book. It's a book I picked up and I didn't have a place to put it, so I just threw it over there. I love Audrey Hepburn. I love I

6:03I do too. Yeah, I'm I I I love all kinds of pop culture things. Um you know, uh you know, on a on a on on two different Kind of the the pure level of it, you know, I just love it for what it is, but then I also love the absurdity of it all. So, you know, I you know, I don't know. I love Audrey Hepburn. She's good. She's amazing.

6:28Elvis Presley, it's all good. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Do you have any favorites of of Audrey work? Um yeah, I I think that um I think Breakfast at Tiffany's is, you know, an obvious one. But um I I I don't I don't know that there was anything that I was you know, that I didn't like from from Audrey Hepburn, but Yeah, what's the what's the what's the the one in Rome with the um with I guess is it is it Cary Grant? Oh, yes. I'm trying to remember that one. Yeah.

7:13It'll It'll It'll come. Yes.

7:17Charade? Was it Charade? I don't think it was. Maybe it was her name or the name of the character. I don't know. Yeah, big fan as well. She's She's I I think she's also like a part of just classic cinema that's just amazing, so. Well, you know, I I love watching old movies, you know, and and you see the the um the way that things have changed, you know, the things that have that have um I I don't know, we as a society have kind of gone through so many different uh you know, looks and feels and ways of thinking about things and and you watch

8:06these old movies and and uh it's I don't know, it's pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, it's it is I love when you see um modern cinema cinema that brings in like the storytelling and um you know, the classic cinema as well, but yeah, there's something about the way that um it really goes heavily into like the storytelling that I think is amazing, so yeah. Yeah. So, um I was curious like um do you have particular ways that you get ready for you know, as you're in prep mode? In what regards? Like uh Well, I almost definitely, but I I don't know specifically what you're talking about,

8:47so it's hard for me to to answer that question. Sure. Well, so like um you personally like um you're you're very you're very active performer um and you have a very big presence on Um so, you know, just wondering in in the weeks leading up to shows, are there certain things that you do to get ready with your voice and um that sort of thing? I mean, it to get ready in terms of my voice, um I mean, obviously, you know, rehearsals um you know, we we do regular rehearsals, but you know, leading up to shows, um but um the uh as as far as any kind of special

9:31um preparation, not really. Um the uh the only thing that I can I can think of in that regard is like for example when I actually perform shows, you know, I'll do things like I'll I have these sort of special lozenges that I will stick back in the back of my mouth to kind of and it kind of just sits there and I don't know, keeps it somewhat lubricated I have this problem when I perform a lot of times I get so enthusiastic about things that I will push too hard. And you do that, then you start losing elements of your range. And I in a lot

10:18of ways I'm really fragile vocally um because you know, you know, getting a little cold or you know, any little thing can can mess me up pretty But at the same time, I think my my threshold is pretty is pretty you know, gregarious and and I'm able to really you know, perform on some level um despite being at a disadvantage. So, you know, um Yeah, as as vocally that's that's about it. But there are Hold on one second. I I I over there somewhere. Sorry. Um Like I say, we're getting ready to go to go uh uh on the road and they're asking for stuff

11:16from me. So, Did you find them? Yeah, I don't know where they are Anyway, um Yeah, so what the the question um you know, is there things I do, you know, special for preparation? I mean, in a in a lot of ways there is. There's a lot of things that I, you know, have my own little sort of rituals and um you know, things that I do um to get myself into my into that head space um and um you know, because when you do go on stage, you know, particularly with the the larger crowds, you know, you have to you can't have any self-doubt. You can't

12:02have any um fear of the crowd. You can't have any of that. You really have to go out there and and say, you know, I own this, you know. So, yeah, there's there's lots of little I I don't know, superstitions and and things that I'll do. You know, I um you know, my I don't know. don't [laughter] know. I think that's really really amazing because um from from the clips I've seen, I've never had the opportunity to see you live and I'm hoping I'm I'm able to like align the planets uh when when hopefully when you come to the West Coast, but um you know, from what I've seen, it's like

12:44there's a real presence and there's such a emotive quality to your performance and yeah, I was curious because you you have a very strong voice and strong presence and so I imagine, yeah, to be like in the music and also be able to connect with the audience, it's it's such a bike, right? Yeah, but I mean, if they're one in the same. Um the the idea, I think, at least for Cruciatus is you really have to you know, you really have to have your your your rehearsals, you have to have your timing, you have to have everything down to the best that you can have it um to

13:21the best of your ability so that when you are on stage, you're not thinking about, you know, oh, what's the next Of course, anyone who's ever seen me live knows that I'm not thinking about what's the next next lyric because they I I I I'm not sure I've ever sang the same lyrics uh from one show to the next the same way. Um but uh you know, I don't know. Memorization was never my strong point.

13:49Uh and I'm I'm kind of like, well, I wrote it. I can change it around. Yes, you have artistic license.

13:56Yes. Well, I think that's really awesome because I feel like um um I you know, I've talked to different artists who who have like terrible stage fright and it's amazing that you're like, okay, there's no fear. I'm going out here and yeah. Has it always been that way for you? Um probably. The um the the truth is is I started as a child actor and um I was very very young. Um now, I wasn't a a film or TV actor. I was a um a stage actor. And so, from a young age, I was doing, you know, all kinds of plays and I was in the uh the workhouse, you know, uh um

14:39you know, Oliver Twist. Um you know, I did a number of those kinds of things. I went on on tour as a, you know, child actor. I And and I so, I guess, you know, on some level, I was used to being in front of And um I don't think I think I've always been somewhat self-actualized in that maybe believed in myself more than I was concerned about what other people you know, I not that I wasn't concerned about what other people thought. I think everyone falls into that that um you know into that category on some level but I think that you know on some level I really cared

15:30what I thought you know I cared how I saw myself and maybe how I interpreted how other people saw me and so it wasn't about being wanting wanting to be seen the way that other wanted to see me but rather being seen the way I wanted other people to see me and so I I think you know that's been very much part of my you know my stage presence but also you know I I really just believe you go out there and you do it and you you know you know you do it you know for real and you it's not a it's not a

16:11you know some kind of a faking or some kind of a you know some kind of a last second What? I was going to say I'm interrupting you anyways It's okay. Yeah I I apologize. I'm very Oh no. But lots of people asking me lots of things so I I understand. I like I said I appreciate you taking the time in the midst of your of your tour prep. I know you have so much. I'm excited to do it and you know we can you know maybe drum up a little bit more support for these shows in Texas you know I haven't haven't been to

16:54Texas in almost 10 years at least been to Texas in terms of um of playing a show. I think the last show we played was like in Austin you know almost a decade ago you know so it's it's been a while since we were you know in Texas and you know hopefully people haven't forgotten us and and uh they'll you know, show up and and have a good time. I have a feeling you'll get a lot of love there. Um yeah, like you were you were we were mentioning earlier before the stream uh your the in terms of traveling out there, there's going to be like a a

17:36matter of either driving or flying. So, I'm I'm I'm sure there's like a metric ton of logistics to figure out as you're

17:43There's There's There's I mean, that we we take a we basically take a skeleton um on the road initially. Uh so, um myself um and some of the the technical um you know, people, the crew people, um and then one or two other band members, you know, will will you know, jump in there. Um but um it's mostly me, my daughter, and the crew, and uh and then most of the other musicians will fly, you know, to to the show. Um if we have a few shows to do, you know, in an area or something along those lines, similar to the situation now where we're playing in uh

18:26you know, Houston and we're playing in Dallas-Fort Worth, I guess we're doing Dallas-Fort Worth first and then we're doing Houston, so Thursday and Friday. Um but um you know, the band will ride with us between shows, and then they'll they'll all fly back after that. But um yeah, it's it's very different from the old days where we were, you know, uh uh I don't know. We used to you know, tour in a something that wasn't much better than a pickup truck with a with a covering on it, I think. Um And uh you know, there were three of us and and one person was sleeping in the back with the

19:06speakers while the other two were, you know, in the in the front seat. But you know, we've we've toured in so many different ways, you know, everything from, you know, flying two shows, night liners, two I think at one point we were two Cherokees, two Jeep Cherokees like, you know, touring around the country. So, I we've really done it all from from soup to nuts, from, you know, the the bottom to the top and back. I I read an interview with you and it was a while back. When

19:41I might have read and watched a few. there was one where you guys had barely had any sleep and you still put on this incredible show and the person that was interviewing you mentioned that and something that struck me was just how incredibly dedicated you guys are to putting on the best show possible like regardless of, you know, whatever circumstances or sleep or anything like that and I I just really respect that that there's so much love that goes into what you bring to your performance. Well, you know, it's funny you say that because I think that's very very true. you know, like I said, I I did the

20:27the child actor thing and there's very much the, you know, the show must go on. It doesn't matter, you know, what the what the situation. You have to find a way to perform. So, you know, in that regard, we have had all kinds of situations. I mean, I I I can remember performing with a, you know, 103, 104 fever, you know, I I remember one show in particular. I I I had basically laryngitis and I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to sing a word, but I went out there and I performed. It probably wasn't anything you want to, you know, listen to, but you know, people were

21:07you know, particularly people in the the band were really amazed that I was able to you know, go out and and and actually sing. Um, I I remember another show we crossed the the North Sea from down to Scotland and there was a um, a huge storm that you know, that that hit us and um it was awful. We were in 12-ft swells and I got seasick and we were all beat up because we getting thrown around in this on this you know, ship when we you know, crossed the North Sea. Um, but you know, we we arrived you know, kind of in pieces, but

21:50the show must go on. So, off you go to the venue and you find a way to perform. and and I and I think that's you know, that's that's part of our you know, ethos. you know, it's part of you know, who we you you you you do the show to the best of your abilities and I guess for me the fans are so important and I don't want to disappoint one of them, you know. Um I I really want to give them what they're hoping for, what they're expecting, what they're um, you know, believing that we're going to to to bring and I think

22:32that's the one of the the biggest letdowns for me is if I feel like we haven't given them that. Um, so I always wanted to be the the the the band you know, that I would be a fan of if if you know, and and kind of treat people the way that I would want to be treated as a fan of like that. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um I just wanted to take a moment by the way and and just share some love that you're getting in the chat. Um Ryben mentioned that Ryben's in Virginia. He said, "I wish I could make it, but it I'm from Virginia, but I would love to

23:14go to a show soon hopefully." Also Princess Shamira, I think it says the the movie was Roman Holiday. Oh, yeah. New Rome was in the Roman Holiday.

23:28And I am so sorry. I I feel like I'm probably going to mispronounce this, but um Shnis Shnis Shnot Shnoshnaughty? Oh, I am so sorry. Said, "I found you at M'era Luna 2017. Will you be in Ger- Germany anytime soon?" Oh, I I would I would love to be in And this is a big a lot of our a lot of our we have a lot of fans in Germany. And we have a a lot of fans in Europe. But since the pandemic, you know, everything has changed in terms of our ability to tour. You know, one of the biggest things that happened in in the

24:05pandemic was you know, we we found ourselves really unable to you know, collect any of that free money that everyone was talking about. Like we didn't get that. And so you know, we had had a tour planned. You know, at that time we would have been in Europe in 2020. There were shows booked. You know, those were all canceled. That created all kinds of problems for us. And you know, we basically found ourselves in these huge monetary setbacks. And and so our reserves were eaten up by the pandemic and at the same time much of our infrastructure that allowed us to you know, to tour all over the world

24:48really crumbled. And much of those things have not come back. You know, they have not um, know, been put back together, and then there's a lot of difficulty, you know, traveling internationally now, um, with such a large group, with so much equipment. There's so much weight involved. The air the airlines have gotten, you know, even even stricter in regards to what they will allow you to to travel with, and it just putting, you know, a Cruciatus show on the road, we would we would really need some some big investment. Um, the other thing that happened around the pandemic is Cruciatus became an independent band again. Um, so we had

25:30been with a a very large label, you know, previous to that, and there was, you know, you know, money to do things, but um, you know, we find ourselves in, you know, a different world. And and so, you know, when you get into all these countries and the and the rules they have, and, you know, you know, the all kinds of risks involved with with doing everything. You get involved you you look costs involved with with the tours. You look at the, uh, you know, just the the putting it all together. It's it's become really difficult. And I think that a lot of people were spoiled

26:06because from, I guess, 2000 to, you know, around 2000 18 or 2019, some one of those, you know, we were in Europe every single year. You know, we were we were doing things over there. I mean, really, I was in Europe as as often as I was in America. but that's just not the case anymore, and I really really want to go back to Germany. I want to go back to the other country. We get a lot of people from from Great Britain, also. Hey, when are you coming to Great Britain? Well, you know, it's it's bad enough trying to get back to Europe, but, um, trying to

26:44get to Great Britain since the Brexit is is even more difficult. Um, and, uh, uh, you know, it takes on just a whole new level, you know, financially. And I think the problem is is that you can't go and do these tours and and lose money. You know, it it it has to be something where you're where you're coming out in a in a positive. So, that's the that's the honest the honest answer is I really want to, but you know, outside of of some investment. I mean, maybe maybe some fans get together and and you know, put together um you know, you know, some kind of

27:29you know, thing to raise money to to do something over there, but there's just a lot of cost. A lot of cost. A lot of people that have to be paid in order to make a Croquetas show happen. Yeah, I appreciate the honest answer. Um, and and you know, it's admirable that you have, you know, operated independently since the pandemic and it is so many logistics that you you know, you know, that goes into I mean, just a domestic show, but then flying internationally. And you guys do have such a big show. Is it six or seven of you at this point?

28:05There are there are six musicians on stage. And if we are So, at some shows we will have our dancers. We have the dancers. It can be you know, eight or nine you know, people on stage. Then I have crew people, you know, and all of these people need to be paid, you know, all of them you know, are are are you know, making sacrifices in order to do this. You know, there's airfare. I I have to, you know, fly people just to put things together. And um there's a lot of cost. There's a lot of Um, so you know, the thing is I you

28:42know, I hear all the time, "Oh, come to Rhode Island. Come to Minnesota. come to, you know, Oregon. Um Yeah, I I'd love to. I would absolutely love to, but we have to be able to, you know, to to make money. And those are just domestic, you know, things. So, when when they're saying, "Oh, you know, come to Brazil, come to to Germany, you know, come to uh um you know, Japan." Great, but how do I how do I, you know, put that together? Because um I'd love to be able to just sign my name and and and it becomes money, but it's not quite like that. Not yet.

29:24Yeah. Yeah, but I I do like um you you kind of planted a little bit of a seed um where you were like, "Maybe some fans will get together and maybe make that possible." And I I do see a lot of community support that's happening that's making things possible. So. Yeah, so a lot of a lot of bands have done, you know, all of these things. And I I I'm a dinosaur. Um I I've been doing this a long time and, you know, the the my paradigm of how the music industry works is is disappearing, you know? And Chris Daughtry has been very fortunate because we've been able to continue kind

30:04of kind of doing things our way. But, you know, like I said, the music industry has changed dramatically. And, you know, there's a lot of crowdfunding, you know, kind of thing. There's There's people doing Patreons and stuff. I just always operated on the the concept of I will make a music you know, piece of music and I will sell you the piece of music. I will do a concert and I will sell you the concert. I will make some kind of merchandise and I will sell you the merchandise. And those were the ways that we made money. But, you know, the the you know, thing

30:36is is that merchandise, the cost of merchandise is just astronomical. And I know, you know, any fans that are are are are um you know, watching are saying, "Well, then lower the price." Um, but that's that's not what I mean. I mean the cost of producing it is astronomical. And our margins are so low, and there's so many things to pay for, you know, from the profits of those things that it it becomes really really difficult. You know, the the the t-shirt companies are charging me almost the same amount that I was charging for the shirts just a few short years ago. You know, so when people come and go,

31:12"Well, why are you charging all this money for a t-shirt?" Well, I I I don't have any other option. If I sold it for what I used to sell it for, we'd be giving it to you. You know?

31:21Yeah. So, you know, that's you know, that's really difficult. Um, you know, music sales, you know, are you know, that's you know, changed too. It used to be that you know, in the old days, you know, vinyl and CDs and stuff like that, people would would go in and they would spend how much? You know, they'd they'd buy two, three CDs or two, three records or two, three, you know, whatever a month, you know, of the bands that they liked. And they're spending 15 to $20 on each one of those things. So, you figure they're spending 60 bucks, you know, on on albums. But, um, along comes streaming music,

31:59and now you spend your $15, and you get every song you ever heard of. Um, and and so the the the cap is cut off at $15. And then aside from that cap being cut off at $15, the, um, you know, streaming services take, you know, half of that or or more in some cases. And then, uh, um, uh, you know, the that half of your monthly fees then divided between every single artist that you listen to. Okay. So, you know, when it comes down to, you know, on on average, you know, musicians are receiving fractions of a of a of a penny, you know, for each song

32:42that's played. And that song play has really replaced the purchasing that would have brought a lot more money. So, you can't really make money, you know, from selling your music the way that that uh um you know, at least the way that you used to. and um uh you know, the the you know, the thing is concerts. Okay, well, you know, you can make money off of concerts, right? But you know, the price of gas, the cost of travel, um you know, these are these are things that go into it. Um all the people you have to pay, the better your show. Um you have to pay people to make that

33:22happen. You know, there's a there's a person to operate the you know, the sound and the video and the lights and you know, to sell the merchandise and to drive the vehicle and you know, all the different things that have to be done. And and so you know, I find find I'm looking at the the kind of you know, world that we're living in and you know, it's funny because as a culture we place so much importance on art and music and yet these are the people that we you know, largely don't don't want to pay. Um it's it's it's mostly the really really the top the top you know,

34:05tenth of the top 1% are the people that, you know, are are living the high life. it's it's the uh you know, everyone else is is is really you know, fighting to be doing what they're doing. Well, well, let me ask you um what are the best ways that um your fans can support you? Uh cuz you mentioned like different things. So, um what are what are the ways?

34:31Okay, first of all, let me say, um, you know, the reason Krashada's is still alive and kicking is because, um, our fans have been so supportive and there are amazing generous fans who, you know, have sent us, um, you know, money, uh, you know, at at various points, um, and, you know, I I I I can't express to you, you know, just how significant that can be, you know? Um, one of the things that I have regularly done is I will, you know, write a song. People keep saying, "Well, when is Krashada's going to do a new album?" And, um, I largely look at this

35:14in a completely different way than than I I used to. Albums don't make money the way that albums used to make money. And not only do they not make money, um, you spend all your time and all your energy, spend 3 years of your life, and that's what typically takes me to put an album together, about 3 years. Um, you spend 3 years of your life and you make this album and people listen to one or two songs. They sort of discard the rest. I mean, there's a there's a few people that, you know, will listen to the whole thing and that's and then I love them. I love

35:48those people, but, um, you know, the majority of people are not going to listen to the album. They're just going to listen to the highlight songs from you know, you take my my last actual album, Astromythology, and I was able to record Astromythology, you know, partially in Europe and partially, you know, here in in Florida. I did a a bunch of the recording myself, but I was able to go into a, you know, a big studio in Germany, work with a really incredible producer. I co-produced it, but, you know, we worked together and we made an album that is the album I've always wanted to make. Um so often with my

36:29albums before because we were we were just, you know, putting things together with duct tape and shoestrings and and zip ties um and super glue that, you know, I was I was putting out the best thing that I possibly could, but it you know, it was difficult. And, you know, uh um you know, when I had the major label support that I had from from Europe, I was able to actually do it the way I wanted to do it. Well, I put that album out and and every single song on that album I put my heart and soul into, you know, every single song. There is no B material, there is no

37:11filler, there is nothing that I just threw on there to to to fill it out. Um every single song was meaningful to me and I gave it 110% you know, in in each of those songs. I love that album. I can actually listen to that album. I can't listen to most of my other stuff because it's like, oh my god, I hear the problem here, I hear the problem there. Um but Astromythology I walked away from it going, that was something I can be proud That's that's something that I feel like I did something amazing, right? But even with Astromythology and every single song being having so much effort

37:53in it and energy put into it, right? Um people still listen to two or three And they miss some of the really, you know, good ones because, you know, we got dropped from our from our label in in Europe. Um we had, you know, the first the first two songs went to number one and the third song went to number and then we got dropped. So, there were no other songs to be released, but I had big plans for the for the songs after that, you know? And you know, the the you know, I I felt like, you know, every one of them should have could have been, you

38:34know, a single itself. I started thinking about this because I guess in in the olden days, you know, when you're Elvis Presley and you got a song and you're putting out your song and and then some guy over here, I don't know, Bobby O's making a a record and you want people to buy your album over his album, so you go and put, you know, an extra song on the other side of the of the vinyl. Well, and then he does the same thing. Well, okay, we're going to put three or four songs on it. You know, oh, we're going to make we're going to

39:02use this new format and squeeze more songs on it to get you to buy the song we want you to buy. And as a result of that, a lot of music, particularly from the the '50s and maybe the early '60s, is filler. You've got the two or three songs that were really meant to to to to to get to the to the audience, and then you have a awful lot of songs that are um you know, just there to take up space or to convince someone to buy things. But as the '60s started moving forward, artists were going, "Wait a second. I've got all these slots for songs. I'm going to do

39:37something conceptual. I'm going to I'm going to link things things through." And so you get the you know, the Pink Floyds of the world, you know, going in and and and creating a a concept album that uh uh you know, tells a cohesive story. And so, the idea of the album really exploded in the '60s and '70s, '80s, you know, this was the way that things went. you know, really towards the end of the '90s with all the file sharing um and the you know, the invention of iTunes, um you know, people started going after the one song they wanted and not the whole album.

40:20And that really has, you know, hit its its apex in in the land of streaming music, which is what, you know, the the world is now. So, instead of writing albums, because I I wrote my great album. I wrote Astro Mythology. I'm so proud of it. I feel like it was it was it was so good. I don't have the uh um the production capabilities to put an album like that I can put a song like that together. And so, what I what I noticed was this, and this is this is again just my personal, you know, take on things. And I'm sure plenty of people disagree with

41:05But, um I you release an album and it's like you a month, 2 months, 3 months, maybe 4 months of of attention for that album. And then everybody forgets it. And then it's all old. It's all yesterday. Uh now they're they want the new thing. So, my thought is, well, I can write, you know, one, two, maybe three songs a year and I can piecemeal those things out, you know, every, you know, so often. And it brings the attention to that song that I really want it to have. the the people don't get to pick which song they're going to download. They download the one that I put up, because

41:47that's the only song, you know? It's it's a single. There's nothing else. So, you know, if you want the new song, here's the new song. Here's And it allowed me to curate the music that I'm making. And it gave me a little bit more of the power back. Um because in the album days, the record labels had the power. And um you know, to a certain extent, uh you know, for better or for worse, the fans now have the power. But, as the artist, I want the power. I want the ability to to say, "Hey, this is what I'm doing right now." Yeah. People say, "Are you Are you going

42:23to make any more albums?" And I said, I'm not never say never, first of all. I I think that if I do do an album, it will, you know, largely fall into categories. Like I I might put together a kind of greatest hits of Crüeshadows or maybe a rarities disc of Crüeshadows or, you know, you know, some sort of collection. I've done a Christmas song every year um since I don't know, 2000 2000 too old for me to remember. I And, you know, I think it would be really cool to take all of these Christian Christmas songs, which are free. You can go download them right

43:04now. Every single one of you can just, you know, uh uh stock up on Crüeshadows Christmas songs right this second, you know, on our website. Um And uh but I think it'd be cool to put those onto a physical um album. And you know, you know, you could have it as a Christmas present, you know, give it give it to someone, you know, and and and like that. And and And maybe, you know, I do something special to make it, you know, you know, a little different. But, that might be something that I I I I, you know, I think about doing sometimes. Um maybe taking some of um

43:39the There's There's a number of tracks that are not available, um you know, commercially right now. Putting a lot of those things on. Crüeshadows has done, particularly in the old days, we did a lot of covers. I mean, not a lot of covers, but yeah, I don't know, five, six, seven covers, you know. Yeah.

43:56Putting those things out as some kind of a thing. The big problem there is that somebody else is going to make all the money from it um because you're you're basically paying the songwriter because as I pointed out, the streaming streaming revenues are not are not so impressive, you know. Um, but you know, you you asked what a fan can do to help. And and I said, you know, a lot of fans have, you know, donated and stuff. Well, here's the thing that I've done. Um, again, going with my old school brain, but kind of putting it in a new lens, um, I when I write a song

44:35and we finish the song and I upload it to the website and it's free. It's free for everybody to download, but we put a little link there. If you like the song, um, you know, please feel free to to donate. That's the difference maker. Is that those fans who who actually donate, those fans who, you know, say, "Hey, I love Krushados. I'm going to support it." Those are the people that keep us in business. And um, uh, you know, those are the people that we are so grateful, you know, you know, for, because it means they really truly love, you know, what what we do. Now, I

45:14know most people listen to Krushados they're listening to, um, uh, Winterborn. They're playing Winterborn in the club. Okay. And and this person's heard that song and they go out and dance to it. But they don't know us. They don't They don't know They They know they like that song or maybe it's Deception or maybe, you know, what which whichever, you know, classic Krushados song you want to you want to, you know, reference. But it is the it's the people that support when we put those new songs out and we put them up on the website and they go on the website weeks before they go into the

45:46streaming system, you know. And you know, we say, "Here it is. This is for the fans." And that's that's one of the biggest things. and maybe maybe, you know, we're talking about doing a tour in Europe, you know, um, you know, maybe we do have to kind of do some kind of fundraiser stuff, but I always feel just I I hate the idea of asking fans to, you know, to come out and and and support things. I mean, even with the, you know, putting the songs up online, it's free. There's no paywall, there's no anything. If you want the music, if you love what we do,

46:24you can have it. And that's the truth. I'm seeing a lot of, um, very enthusiastic support, by the way, of, um, the Christmas album. Also talking about Astromythology. People are giving a lot of love to, um, just how amazing the album was. And yes, and agreed with no filler songs at all. Um, amazing from start to finish. I love that album. I love it so much. I cannot express I mean, there's there's highlights from Crush 40's over the years. And you could argue, oh, well, this song is better, you know, than than this song or whatever. But as a, you know, cohesive group of songs, um,

47:05you know, the that I I, like I said, I love Astromythology. I was able to do everything I wanted to do. So, uh, you know, I don't know what to say. And and it's still, you know, we still push Astromythology. Um, you know, when I when I put the album together, um, so I had the, uh, US rights to Astromythology, and we had, uh, another company had the rights, uh, in in Europe. Um, so we were still independent in America and and not, you know, over in Europe. But the, um, but the thing is, you know, when we put the the album together, usually the the

47:43European editions are so much more fancy than the American editions. And so people get imports, you know, to have the fancy Oh, no, the American version was the one because we we spared no expense and we put everything together the way I really wanted it to be. I I really love that um you come from a background of both visual and musical art and so you have that ability to merge a whole vision together. Well, thank you. Thank you for noticing that. I I I I have a degree in art. You know, I studied I studied music at Florida State and I also um studied art um and um

48:26you know, I I mean I studied a number of things, you know, uh you know, film and animation and you know, you know, traditional studio art you know, I studied you know, some composition and and violin and and what have you um but you know, I I'm also a visual artist. You know, a lot of the a lot of the cover art, you know, I have um you know, you know, done um and um you know, I I you know, I do my own uh you know, visual art on the side. I have um a couple of projects outside of Cruciatus that I do. Um

49:06I have a writing project um called After and um this is something that I've been working on for many, many years. uh Brent Lingle and myself uh you know, have you know, co-authored um this massive world um called After All and After All follows this this 17-year-old girl who wakes up dead. Um she dies and literally it is her um adventure, her quest, her um her passage through the after world. And uh it's allowed me to bring you know, all of my interests in in mythology and a lot of the the um the lore and mythology of Chris Shadows because we have a lot of that built

50:00into, you know, stuff that we do, but bring all of that together into this, you know, project called After All. And the um you know, the thing is is that I was able to do a lot of the art, you know, for After All. you know, there's some uh um you know, other artists as well. Uh Dominic Dominic Kennedy and uh Julia Moser um also worked with me on the art for that. Um and uh and and then, you know, Brent and I did the writing. but, you know, I was able to bring together, you know, more of my, you know, ideas. And then the last single

50:44that Chris Shadows put out, A Dream Before Dying, is literally um about Rae, who's the main character in After All. Um that's why the line is Rae, are you ready? It's Rae, the girl's name. Um you know, and um uh I think I I have right here. Yeah. So, you can see like this is this is After All.

51:14Aw. Oh my gosh. And so, it's a it's a uh a book that's put together with like, you know, it's it's it's both prose. You see like right here in the front. See that's After All, right? And it it has um Where do you turn for inspiration in the darkest edge of night? How can you hope to find your purpose if you leave it all behind? Helios that is. You know, so I've I've been able to, you know, take all of my and I I did the fonts. Like I made the fonts. Aw, that's so cool.

51:45Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I I designed my own own fonts to use in in the um in the thing and it you know, tells this the story. So, this is just a chapter of of After All. Um and the and the things that are, you know, happening, you know, but um you know, I I did a bunch of the art in here and, you know, a couple of the other art artists, you know, you see these are all the people that worked on it. So, you can see if it will show you And there's Clement, me, there's Julia, there's Dominic. Um but you know, and then I I basically,

52:22you know, operated as the editor and I put the whole thing together. And um you know, I've been very fortunate because um you know, people who are supporters of Crusaders have also been willing willing to, you know, support After All. So, I have this plan. And what we're thinking of doing, um so very strongly thinking it's looks like it's largely going to happen, is we're going to take a chapter-by-chapter approach to After And we're going to podcast it. So, um you know, maybe once a month, maybe we do it a little bit more than that, once every 3 weeks, but I'm I'm really thinking, you know, somewhere in

52:59the once-a-month zone is probably the, you know, the the safest in terms of not getting ahead of ourselves and and you know, ending up like uh Game of Thrones where you overtake the actual story.

53:14So, I'm I'm just making things up as I go along. Um but uh uh but yeah, you know, I I think that um you know, we could do a once-a-month, you know, sort of podcast and give you a complete chapter, you know, of the of the story. And once we get to a certain number of chapters, then put that out as printed material. And I think that's the kind of thing that I feel like, okay, we can we can convince people to support that and to subscribe to things. And you know, there's there's a lot of angles there. Um so that's one thing that I've been

53:47doing, you know, after all I think um and you can see also here this is a um a virgin cover of the same I don't know if you can see that and I Wow. Oh my

54:01Yeah. That is stunning. Absolutely

54:04It's fun. That's the character right there ready. Um Wow. But uh and and so when we did a Dream Dream Before Dying I didn't want to mess up. Okay, you you see up Let me get my things to it. All right, so you see this art right here? My daughter did that. That's the cover of

54:22That's the cover art from the um uh uh from the single and I had done the cover art and it was quite good. I'm you know, I did a great job and then my daughter's like, oh, well, let me try And 15 minutes later I'm like my daughter just stole the cover from

54:42Yeah, I can't not put this up. This is this is You know, people are like, oh, well, this one's good, but this one's really good. I'm like, oh my god.

54:52So she got the cover and uh um and and this uh bunny rabbit is uh actually a character from from After All. It's a It's a stuffed animal that um uh um you know, becomes kind of a you know, a character in uh you know, in the whole thing. And I have like all these grand ideas. I'd like to you know, maybe have it uh um you know, eventually made into a an anime. I'd like to release it in chapters as you know, what they call light novels um maybe with some illustrations kind of similar to what I did before but um you know, a little bit

55:30different format than that. But um and then Brent, my writing partner, he owns a comic book company. Um so we're like, well, why not, you know, uh convert it into you know, a comic book as well. So, all kinds of ideas. And I really like the idea of going to an anime, too, because I really care about the project. And I want it to not get all I mean, you live in LA, right? Get changed by all the people in LA, you know, who are just make it into whatever they want to make it into. It's like, oh, we need to story to make the story

56:06that we want to tell. Um, but I want to tell the story I want to tell. And and I think that's the thing, the music, too. I want to, you know, I want to have control. I release things as singles, um, so that I can you know, you know, curate what you're hearing from us as opposed to, you know, some kind of luck of the draw. There's one other thing that I've actually been working on here. I think Yeah, I do. I have some So, um, there is a comic book company or a not a comic book a comic book shop, right? Um, Gotham City Limit, you know,

56:45here in um in Florida. And I created a character, for um you know, um for the the comic book. So, these are prints that we made. And the owner of the shop and I came up with the idea for it and and and all this stuff. So, we signed these and they were thing. If there's any more. Here's some other ones you can see. You know, this is this is Komore, the sky fox. and he's kind of a a fox in a bat suit. kind of a cool character. There's some other ones here. This is a a nod to on Frank Miller famous sort of

57:34you know cover there of Batman. And then I did another Frank Miller cover um where it you know like the Wolverine you know you know doing the whole you know come here kind of thing. And um So you know I I I do do a lot of things. You know I do I do art I do music. I for better or for worse I directed a couple of our videos. Um you know like I say some of them better than others. You know I co-directed as well. But um you know I I love doing creative things. I love taking something out of my mind and making

58:19something real and in the world and I guess music is the thing that uh has allowed me to reach the most people. You know it's the thing that you know I've been most I guess most successful at. And you know kind of you know doing that whole thing. So Yeah I I I just I just railroaded and ran off with your question. I'm I'm

58:46No this not at all. It's amazing. I I love that it sounds to me like there's so many seeds that are blooming in your creative worlds. Like I love that it's all merging and coming together and you know like your last single was in tandem with the story. So I'm just I'm curious if there'll be more songs that are part of the soundtrack of the story. Yeah I I think that that's a cool thing. I really liked how it came across. I liked the song a lot and you know I I think it's a I think it's a catchy song but oh my goodness the

59:25the lyrics I wrote for that I have to say like everything in there means like you know, 15 different things. It's the references inside of references and I I've loved doing that since, you know, time immemorial. Um, you know, I'm all about putting secret messages and and stuff. I remember um back when I was a kid, I got this album from Arcadia called So Red the Rose. And do you you know who Arcadia is or I don't.

59:55Okay. So, um Duran Duran was a band and uh they had a side project they did called Arcadia. And Arcadia was very, very dark. Um and uh really it's it's sort of how I kind of started off, you know, in the the direction of dark music and and uh um you know, that whole kind of thing. Arcadia was really the jumping off point for me. Um Arcadia, maybe Depeche Mode, you know, I guess The Cure, you know, that's that kind of thing. But um you know, the thing about the Arcadia album was it it you you took the album out and it had all these numbers written

1:00:32all over the place. I'm like, "What are these numbers? What do they mean?" And I noticed, "Oh, well, the numbers, you know, they're all even numbers. There's no odd numbers in any of these things." And I figured out that the numbers coincided with letters. And the there were all kinds of secret messages written all over this this album. And when it's fun, you could read it forwards or backwards, the messages could be read in either direction. It was brilliant. Um and uh um and and so I was like, "Wow, I love that." I spent hours figuring out what everything meant, you know, diving into the you know, this little secret, this

1:01:12little little um um you know, uh uh Easter egg here or or there. And so, you know, I really wanted to do that when I was creating, you know, music as well. But then, you know, the whole paradigm changes and no one's printing albums anymore. You know, it's it's everything's digital. And uh you know, so, you know, stuff like that goes away, but I think you know, there are you know, other other places to put that that uh um enthusiasm into. Yeah, absolutely. Um actually, um uh Smashing Pandora was asking, um will After All be available to buy online? Okay, so here's the here's sort of the

1:01:56the plan with how that's going to work. We're going to get that podcast going and I think that podcast becomes something that that anchors everything, you know, that um we can we can really start to build um you know, a fan base for After All. Um they're such great characters and in in writing it, I I I find my myself you know, like becoming in my head, you know, each of these characters and I I put so much of myself into them. and and I know I'm going aside. I'll I'll come back to the [clears throat] actual question that

1:02:32Tangents are welcome. Yeah. But um you know, the thing is with the characters in After All and I have to say, you know, there is of course an overarching story, right? But a lot of times I think that what has made uh things successful for Brent and I is um getting into the head of the characters, right? And um instead of deciding what characters will letting characters do what characters want to do. Let characters do what they're motivated to do, not what authors want the characters to do. And I find that the story becomes so much more compelling and and strangely the clichés start to to fall away

1:03:19because we've created cliches about how people act, but it's not how somebody actually acts. And I think once you get yourself into the head of that particular character, then you start reacting to the to the to the scenarios to the to the stimulus that are that's coming from the environment that that's, you know, in the book and you tell a a unique story. Um so is after all going to be available we're going to get this podcast going then we will as we get to X number of chapters with the podcast then we we're thinking okay then we go a light novel. So you go

1:03:58four, five, six, I don't know, chapters you know, audio podcast then you put that out in written form. And then you do it again, you know, and you do it again. And I think that's a that's a good template for kind of inventing our own success. I think that that could be really cool. Um you know, with the Kitsune Kemuri Skyfox stuff, I am you know, planning tentatively planning to actually draw a comic book around this little, you know, fox character and um you know, I've got um Ben Kingsbury from you know, Gotham City Limit in Jacksonville, Florida you know, really behind the project and you know, he's

1:04:50got all kinds of ideas that he wants to you know, to to make happen and so you um you know, we'll see what happens with that. Um but yeah, after all should be available you know, like I said the the this this version of after all the one that I the ones that I I showing you these they're a chapter that's actually called Into the Void, okay? Um and I took it out of the middle of the book. um I did that because it sort of stood Everything that happened in the chapter There's I mean there's stuff you don't understand where what's going on, but

1:05:30you can understand enough of what's going on to hear a cohesive story from start to finish. And it really worked as a proof of concept as a um you know, look this is a viable thing and you know, we sold many hundreds of copies of these things and you know, they're not cheap. We We put a $20 price tag on them and for um you know, the the variant covers that we only produced a handful of those you know, those those sold for a lot of money. Um So, you know, there is something that's available now. Usually these are only a direct sale item. Um although I think

1:06:04that once the podcast becomes you know, a live thing that we'll find a way to offer those, you know, um um at least until we get to a point where we can do the light novels. And when the whole story is is told at least uh um what um you know, before the book um I think we will put together as one book, but this thing is a lot of pages already. So. Yeah. Uh Do you have like um the whole story mapped out in your in your head already? Um yeah, the story The story is mapped in terms of the the the kind of the big

1:06:43players, but a lot of the nitty-gritty of how they get there um I'm I'm really leaving up to the characters themselves. And um you know, we will we will see some of the nitty-gritty how it pans out because you know, sometimes when I'm writing um I I I really you know, I I know where I was intending the story to go, but I go, "But I wouldn't do that if I was so and so." You know, but Cassandra wouldn't say that. Cassandra's going to say this, but that opens up this whole, you know, you know, new and and [clears throat] I jump down the rabbit hole.

1:07:15And, you know, to a large extent, you know, you know, all of that has to be cleaned up, but that's why it's taken years and years and years and and that and the fact that I, you know, I have a a daughter and I have you know, Cruciatus and I have a, you know, whole lot of things that I'm trying to, you know, keep on the rails, but yeah, I think uh I think that we should we should be seeing something happening with After All very, very That's exciting. Very, very cool.

1:07:47and hopefully more Cruciatus music to go with it like in in the beginnings of the chapters. This this was Brent's idea, um but we put a excerpt from from a Cruciatus song, you know, and uh that sort of, you know, has a kind of reference to something that's going on in the chapter. I think that was a kind of cool you know, little touch. And and there's lots of things, you know, we we don't follow the rules and I'm not about following the rules. I want to do what I want to do. Yeah. Yeah, [laughter] Well, I think that's what makes you um you know, the artist that you are and

1:08:25um Makes me something.

1:08:28I don't know I don't know I don't what, but it makes me something.

1:08:33Um there's a lot of people that are very, very excited, by the way, um about After All. Um I see I see somebody here that says, "I can voice act on it." Um yeah, I was curious about um about that if you were um going to be reading that all yourself

1:08:48What? I I I was planning on on doing the reading uh you know, of it. Um you know, some people have told me that I have, uh you know, a nice voice and and, you know, might be the case. Um so, I you know I I I uh I uh you know I could I could do that. Um, and uh you know but the possibilities with After All are just you know unlimited. Um, you know the the truth is it it's it's a really good story. Um, the characters are really compelling. you ever watch a a movie or something and you're you're kind of like, "Well, this is a cool

1:09:27movie." or you read a book, "You know, this is a cool book." but the the main character you're not sure you even like them. You know? You're like, "Would I would I even like this person if if I met them in real life?" Um, and uh um I think the thing about uh um about After All is these characters, like I love these characters. I I genuinely care about these characters. I care about you know what happens you know to them. I care about the difficulties they have to you know come into into into contact with. It's like they've become real to me, you know, like they're

1:10:04living breathing you know entities and yeah, that's that's a a a the thing. I think my favorite stories are the ones where you do fall in love with the characters. Like whether it's a written medium or visual medium. It's like when you fall in love with the characters I I get invested at that point. Yeah. Well, it's you know it's funny you say that too because like for me when I write I I almost think of it like a movie, you know what I mean? I I think of it in that sort of context, you know, like you know, visually and I and I like

1:10:40to um uh uh you know, sort of uh uh you know, the the the prose that I use is you know, is very very poetic. I like to um you know, weave something that where the words sound nice when you when you hear them. I like to paint pictures with the the words that I use. Um I like to, you know, create something. It's like I tell Brent all the time. I'm I'm like, you know, we're not we're not following any standards for this because we're not we're not making a dime store novel. We're we're we're we're making Shakespeare, you know, we're we're making something that

1:11:20I want to live beyond me. Um I want to um you know, survive me and and uh maybe tell the world in 500 years that I was here. I think that's a really beautiful way to gosh. I think about it when as you were talking about it as like statues. Like, you never know, maybe a thousand years from now you'll see like a piece of you know, art in some form where you're like, gosh, there was a piece of art that was created by another human um that I can still connect with, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And and and if it moves you, I mean, like uh you know, the

1:12:01the thing is is that we we see it in the music industry, you know, we see, you know, songs that that that touch us or songs that move us. And and some of the people that have written those songs, you know, have have died and and we you know, you know, you know, David Bowie, for example, you know, wrote, you know, all of these great songs and, you know, people are still like um you know, being moved by them, you know, uh uh you know, after he's dead and gone. Um and so he's made he's made a mark that lasts on the world and and that's

1:12:33fantastic. I do wonder our modern music will survive. Mhm. Don't I don't know if it will. I I I I There's no There's no track record, you know, we can look at, you know, classical music and we can say, oh, all notes that were written down by this person or that person." But, you know, we're largely a recorded medium, you know, music is now. And, um do those do does will music last? Will last 200 years? Will last, you know, 500 years? You know, you think, "Okay, we'll jump into the I don't know how many years into the future Star Trek is supposed to be." It's like what, 2 or 300 years,

1:13:13something like that. Um would Captain Kirk be listening to Mhm. I don't know. I don't know. But, um but at the same time, you know, there there are other things. I think, um that, you know, do have a track record, and we do have I mean, my daughter, um will, you know, read Herodotus, you know, and you know, I don't know when that was written, but before Jesus Christ was around. Mhm. So, um you know, there are people that that have written things, and it survives, so that's that's kind of a cool, you know, thing that you can affect people's lives, or you can, you know, affect uh um

1:13:54you know, the world um long after your body's just dust. Yeah, I I absolutely I I think that, and um like you were talking about composers and their and their work. Um There's certain melodies that are just so familiar, right? Like the you know, you think of certain Beethoven pieces or certain Mozart-like lines where you're like, "Oh, yeah, I know I know that." And everybody knows that familiar line, um Happy Birthday, for instance. And so, yeah, you do wonder you know, at least with music, like what will get leaked over. Um Through the times. Yeah. Oh, uh oh, so uh Rachel uh Bornander uh says, um "After Into the Void, I've been

1:14:46waiting for more. It's so good and your imagery is amazing in your lyrics. Not surprising it would carry over into your Well, I mean that one of the things you know, I consider myself as a as a lyric writer to be, you know, kind of you know, a poet. Um but you know, poetry's really not a thing anymore, you know, I mean it's something that people do for a hobby maybe or or or to amuse themselves. I'm I know that there are some poets that you know, get their you know, printed and maybe a few people buy some copies but it's not you know, poetry isn't flying off the

1:15:26shelves and you know, like that. So the modern you know, way to move poetry is is really through the medium of music. Um music music allows you to you know, write your poetry in a way that can be consumed by the masses and that is a component to my you know, my interest in music is being able to write those words and write the you know, you know, write things that that matter to people. I mean I can't I can't tell you how many people have told me over the course of my career, "Hey, you know, this song was there for me at a really dark time

1:16:10or this song helped me through this I was speaking of Los Angeles. I I there was a a show that um I showed up you know, to play and and and we're getting out and unloading and there's this big huge guy, you know, muscular man and and you know, he he was waiting for me and you know, he told me that you know, our our music you know, saved his life and that he was you know, had gone so far as to put a gun in his mouth um pull the trigger, and he said he was listening he he said he he said he picked up a bunch of CDs that

1:16:49he thought would be the most depressing CDs he could get, um and he was going to go commit suicide and he put these CDs in the CD changer and he said he had a gun in his mouth and he was going to pull the trigger and then um one of my songs popped on and he started thinking about his life and what it meant and I you know and and and in that you know precipice that he was on hold on a second. What? the uh um you know in that in that particular moment he um uh you know you know changed his mind and reconsidered his you know his his uh

1:17:34um his future and his thoughts and and so uh um you know he came to tell me that that I saved his life. Well, I I didn't save his life. I wasn't there. I didn't have anything to do with it. But what I did do is I put something out into the world that was able to push a button in his mind that allowed him to save his own life. You know, all the kinetic energy came from him, you know, um so you know being a musician being somebody who who you know gets to do this for a living I have had you know the the profound

1:18:19being able to affect people's lives and I love that. It's it's it's powerful. I mean even in the chat um earlier when you were talking about um astromythology um uh uh the Mad Hatter 622 shared um the first time I heard Astronauts was around the same time I had just lost my grandfather and that song brought me to Mhm. I think that's really beautiful. I That's really nice to to hear. I love the song Astronauts. It's actually one of my favorite songs that I've written. Doesn't get a whole lot of, you know, love just in general. You know, it's the last song on the on the disc and it's a,

1:19:03you know, down-tempo song. But, for me that is a it's a really strong emotional song and I love the end of it, you know, um I know this is not the end, not the end, you know, and it ends on that that that end, you know, kind of thing and it leaves you, you know, a little bit jarred, but at the same time, you know, they told you it's not the end, you know what I mean? Um I don't know. Like, you know, a a lot of these these songs too have real-world tie-ins for me as well. Um and you know, I you know, I I I wrote, you know, some of

1:19:43the songs um with uh um you know, particular elements of my life and and maybe elements of people that I've known and loved um incorporated into the um you know, the whole idea of it. It's like a weaving of um of souls, if you will. Like, a weaving of energy and experience and I love that there's a whole tapestry around it and and as you were sharing just the fact that um it can connect with people in such a profound way and in a way that they need to hear it, you know.

1:20:19Well, that's that's exactly it. You know, I always loved music that um left for your own experience to um be uh to be inserted into the story. Um, because what happens with that is that, you know, when you when you're having a particular, you know, experience, and sometimes it's a good experience, but sometimes it's a bad experience, you know? Um, and you hear a song that speaks to you, and you are able to imagine in, you know, the elements of of your own life, it it it becomes part of the experience. And, you know, I think when when it's a negative thing, it lets you know that

1:21:05you're not alone. It lets you know that you're not, you know, all by yourself in this feeling you have. I, you know, I often say that music is kind of like wolves howling. You know? You you know, when when a dog or a wolf, you know, howls, and then you notice, "Oh, there's another one howling. Now, there's another one howling." Um, that that note that they, you know, that they howl says, you know, "Oh, I'm not alone. My pack is here, or there's others like me, you know, out there. And there's this kind of dialogue that takes place in it." And I think, you know,

1:21:39music does that for people as well. Um, when we hear something that resonates with us, we are able to, um, experience things maybe stronger, you know, maybe it give it empowers us a little, maybe it does the same for the wolves, it empowers them. Um, but, you know, I think music empowers us. It it brings us into, you know, a kind of communion with with others who are in the same place we are. Yeah, absolutely.

1:22:12Emotionally what I'm talking about, but I get No, it's it's so amazing, cuz, um, gosh, I there's a there's a few more people that have shared, um, um, Princess Shamira said, um, I felt suicidal during my middle school school years due due to bullying. Um, Citadel um, Absurd Minds remix basically pulled me out of it. Um, met the two the band two years later and I'm still here. Yay. Yes, powerful.

1:22:44Thank you for staying with us. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean and the thing is is that you know, you know, all of these experiences whether it's you know, your your grandfather dying or being bullied at school or you know, any number of I I think one of the things with Crushada's music and I have I have done my best to stay away from um, making music that is hollow, okay? That that is you know, doesn't have any meat to it. But also staying away from you know, music that gets caught up in you know, politics or um, you know, you know, whatever's going on right now.

1:23:23I really have wanted to write music and and and make music that has universal That speaks to people on a real, personal, sincere level. And has the ability or the potential to do that in 5 years or 25 years or maybe 125 years. You know, um, because it's talking about things that are part of the human condition. Part of what makes us us. Um, so you know, I am so grateful to you know, the the fans who have allowed Crushadas to be part of their life, part of their you know, this whole thing we call life is a you know, is an amazing journey where you

1:24:06know, you just think about it. You step back from yourself and you think about bizarre the idea of being alive is, you know? And how precious that is. And I'm so grateful for our fans who you know, taken the minutes out of their um, you know, bring Psychodots into it and make, you know, us part of you know, who they are and their experience. Yeah. I think it's like um gosh, it's like the fact that you have the ability to channel messages, experiences, um from the ethers and direct it into a way that's like um almost like a radio tower, you know? I think that's amazing.

1:25:00I think you have to be willing to be a conduit, you know? Yeah, well. Anyway, so that's, you know, that's the that's the thing. But we're playing shows in Texas and people should come.

1:25:16Yes. I see Naika in the chat, by the way, which is always a wonderful. Um and we're really excited about it. I from from your sharing about how difficult it is to to make live shows happen, that's really special. Um so, anyone that's able to get out there absolutely should go out and support and experience what a a live Psychodots show is like. Um I I think it's so unique that you bring like the violin into your live show. That's so cool. You just don't see that that

1:25:49Two of two violin. Yeah.

1:25:51you know, I I started um playing violin very late. Um and so, I was the original violin player for Psychodots. So, if you listen to the old Psychodots recordings, that's why the violin is so awful because it's me. Um but uh um I'm not that terrible, but I'm not I mean, anyway, the the thing is is that Um, you know, playing violin at Florida State, I was without a doubt the worst violin player in the school of music. Not even close, and one of the things I figured out, well, wait a second, I am never going to be a great violinist. a lot of violinists who decide they're

1:26:40never going to be a great violinist become violists. And I'm like, I'm never going to be a great violist. There's a few violists who play viola because they love viola, but there's a there's a and I'm sure they hate the violinists that jump over to their instrument to like that, but anyway, there there a lot of violins go to viola and I wasn't really interested in going to a But I thought, wait a second, there's not a whole lot of people playing electric violin. And so I designed and built my own electric violin and I played it on stage and I do my singing and then, you know, we'd have a

1:27:16breakdown and I'd pull the violin off my back and I, you know, I had it strapped onto my back and I'd play the, you know, the little part or whatever. And then at some point that became too much and I recruited a violin and violin player from Florida State who was not the worst violin player at

1:27:34And you know, then it sort of took off from there and and now I have, you know, two very talented violin players, Johanna Moresco and David Wood who have been, you know, with me for, you know, a long I love that. It's a it's a it's so cool. I I'm seeing people in the chat saying the violin is kind of what drew me in it's such a beautiful instrument. I just love that you incorporate that live. Violin. You can see the violin. Violin. Yeah, yeah, violin. yeah, yeah. Oh, there it is. Is that the first one that you you put together?

1:28:15no, no, that's a Yamaha. Um okay. Yeah, I I like the Yamahas. Um Um and that's that's what we use on on stage. Johanna has a uh Yamaha that we had custom um made for um or customized, rather. Um and then uh Dave also plays a uh very expensive, fancy Yamaha. Um but uh um no, I I created my own and, you know, as I was, you know, in the art school, um I had access to the woodshop. So, I went into the woodshop and started figuring out how to make a violin. And my first mistake um was that I made it out of oak.

1:29:02And uh that's a heavy wood for a uh so, and I I had to go back and adjust it and hollow things out to you know, to get some of the weight off of it. But, um but we used my my um uh my electric violins that I created for the first I mean, I used it when I played on stage. And then um you know, Rachel who was my first violin player after me, used two of the designs that I did. Um and then we went to the Yamahas and she used those. That's so cool. When you when you're creating the songs, um do you hear

1:29:44the vocals and the violin kind of interwoven at the same time? Or do you do you kind of play around with layering

1:29:50No, no, no. Um actually, I don't I don't write from the top down. I write from the bottom up. Um so, a lot of songwriters, you know, oh, I'm going to start with some lyrics. Then I'm going to come up with the melody. Then I'm going to figure out how to do the melody. That is not how I write music. Never has been. I start with a I mean I I have occasionally written songs that way, but you know, we're you're probably talking five or six of the 300 some odd songs that I've written. Um I I'm not counting, so anybody that actually knows, please

1:30:23don't you know.

1:30:25Anyway, so so the thing is is the way I typically write music is I start with a I want to write a song about I don't know. Insert simple concept. Um heartbreak, um you know, um you know, love, Christmas, I don't know. You know, you know, you come up with a a simple concept. And then I sit down and I will um decide what I want the tempo of that song to be. Um the tempo largely, you know, determines the mood of the song. So, if if I'm writing a slower song, I start with a lower tempo and you know, I'm writing something for the dance floor,

1:31:04that's you know, usually a you know, faster moderate tempo. Um And uh um so, I'll start with the tempo and I basically sit down and I you know, program and plan the drums. Um and that's the first thing I do. Then I start working on the bass. And the bass gives you the mood, the feel, the you know, you know, really kind of you know, on a on a visceral level, um uh you know, gives you the the the guts of the song, so to speak. So, I do that. Then I start working with um you know, various keyboard lines and um guitar, violin, or whatever on top of that and I

1:31:44build all the way up. And I'll build a song and I leave this is where the vocals are going, this is where the you know, you know, in the verse, this is where the vocals are going in the chorus, you know, all this kind of stuff, but I I I create that and then I sit down and I come up with the vocal melody. Okay? The vocal melody comes next. So, a lot of times I'll just use nonsense words, you know, yadda doddie duddie da da da da da di do da da da da da you know some just Um and then once I get a really good

1:32:17melody, um I tend to work in counterpoint. I'm not a chord driven person. So, a lot of artists um write based on chord structures. Not me. Don't That's not how I work. I work um based on interwoven themes or um uh you know, lines where you know, everything is working in counterpoint. So, if I were a a classical musician, I'd be you know, somewhere between the um you know, the the Baroque and early Mozart. You know, it's all about counterpoint for me. Um and I have a really good mind for counterpoint. I can hear melodies layered on top of melodies. that gives Cruciatus a unique flavor uh

1:33:04uh you know, compared to a lot of other music um because every line has got its own melody, you know, and it might be a simple melody. It might be like da da da da da da da da da da da da da da you know, something like that, but it's still a melody. And so, I'll put the counterpoint to all these melodies against each other. And then when I've got all that, then and I and I've got how I pretty much want the vocals you know, to go in terms of their melody. Um I will then start working words to And it gives me

1:33:38the the the perspective of knowing the song that I'm trying to speak for. So, I'm giving words to this living entity that is a song rather than building a song around some words I came up with. And since I'm the person that started you know, with all these things and built it up, I feel like I'm able to um give some real life to that. So, I don't know if that made any sense, but that that is

1:34:09Yeah. No. that is literally the reverse of of most other artists as as far as I'm aware. Most of the artists

1:34:17Yeah. do such things. No, it actually really makes sense. Like I especially um with your background with in violin, like I love the fact that when when I'm hearing the music back in my head, I'm like, "Yeah, I could see how the counterpoint is present and every line then makes sense in its own way." Well, you know, it's funny because um in Austria um you know, one of our fans, you know, told me they were actually studying our music um because of the effects that it had on autistic kids. And um I I think it's something about because instead of, you know, you know, um stacked chords, you know, um

1:35:00what you have is is this counterpoint. So, in order to listen to it to really listen to it, your brain is actually listening to several different things going on simultaneously. And um you know, they were they were um showing, you know, years ago. This was a long time ago, but they were showing that some of these autistic kids were able to you know, uh uh uh I don't know to to to operate in a in a more normal, you know, range um when they listened to Cruciatus' music because it um you know, spoke to them on several different levels. So, I always thought that was really interesting. I

1:35:39mean, I I I haven't looked at the science involved with this, so I'm not speaking to any of that, but um there was a whole lot of interest in Cruciatus' um you know, a number of years ago, you know, because of that because of the stacked counter because of the counterpoint as opposed to the stacked chords. Yeah, that would make a lot of sense especially with the patterns and It's really really cool. Gosh, I again Brooke, I really appreciate you taking the time to share um No problem.

1:36:12so many beautiful perspectives. Are there any other questions? I mean there is anybody having anything know or care about because I don't want to If people are asking things I don't want to be ignoring anything so No, not at

1:36:25rapid fire I'll I'll just

1:36:27try not to Okay, so we have a question from USPS A99353. Well, do you miss the longer form storytelling that albums allowed you to But I am doing some of that in other things like after all and you know, so yes, I do miss it and if I were to do another album, I would certainly go that at least an album that I'm building from the ground up. I would go that I think what because I've been releasing these songs as singles I may take all these singles and and and put them on to a single collection, you know, kind of thing as an album.

1:37:17But I do I do miss the concept album. That is that's that's fair. A question from Angelus is is after all the podcast going to be an audio drama? you know, we have talked about that but no, it's not going to be an it's going to be a narrated read Um, you know, I I read it. as far as what kind of, you know, sound or or or things going on, you know, I I I haven't really you know, figured out exactly how that's going to work, but um, at this stage it is going to be narrated. I do think it would be really cool to um, do a audio drama

1:38:07theater of the mind kind of thing um, with it as well as a separate thing.

1:38:12Mhm. um, to start things going, I think that it it's it's just going to be narrated. We can only put so much production into it um, and especially without having, you know, you know, a large far-reaching popularity with the project. For now. For now. That's what That's what I'm

1:38:32Yes, for now. Yes, yes. Once it becomes the, you know, the the, you know, the the thing that eclipses Harry Potter, um, then then we will uh, um, yeah, then we will then we will, of course, do an audio drama and and and maybe even uh, a drama drama. Oh, and and you mentioned an anime, too.

1:38:52Yeah. Well, I I again, I I really love the idea of anime because I want to keep the IP true to its, you know, to its original form. You know, I I I mean, I mean, how how many times have you read a book to go to the movie to find out it wasn't anything like what you expected. You know, I don't want that to be.

1:39:12Gosh. Yeah, so true. Yeah, and it's amazing when it does line up, but yes, absolutely. I think what what happened I haven't I haven't read the book, but um, one of my my friends uh, was was telling me, you know, he had read the book, um, but you know, we were comparing notes uh, between the the book and the movie for um, Project Hail Mary and you know, it seems at least, you know, talking to him, it seemed like that followed the book really, you know, really well. But, I love when when the a book and a movie um become complimentary. I think that's probably what Harry Potter

1:39:49movie and and books had going that was so strong is that, you know, people were reading the books and watching the movies and they're reading the books and seeing the actors from the movies in their head, you know, doing these things, you know. I think that that that there's something special about that. I don't I don't know. Yeah, I've I'm also a fan of Lord of the Rings. So, um and I did see and read um Project Hail Mary and I really felt like it did Did you feel like it was the same for

1:40:18Yeah, yeah. And I think he's such an amazing writer. You know, it's a it's much it's a much longer book than it is a movie, you know, but the but the thing is it looks like they at least tried very hard to keep them on the same path. Yeah, definitely.

1:40:31Questions, questions. What else we got?

1:40:33Okay. Okay. Yes, yes. Um so, um um this is from Smashing Pandora. Um do you think you might ever revive some of your old um tour or album t-shirts? Um yes. Mhm. If there was a demand for it, there were. Um some of those things would have to be, you know, um because I I I wouldn't even know where to look for the art files. But, um it's possible and if there was a big you know, demand for anything, we certainly could put something like that into our online store because that's a you know, base thing. Um so, yeah, sort of, maybe.

1:41:17have a Does she have a particular thing um looking for? Um oh, good question. Um we'll we'll pose that to her while we go to the next Um yes, especially if there's something Um and um so, uh, Ryben Ryben Card missed the part about, um, where where, uh um, he can buy After All. So, he was like, I missed the whole thing somehow. He's like, where can I buy After All? After All is currently only available as a direct sale thing. So, um, Brent, who is my writing partner, um, typically has After All with him when he goes to to various, uh, uh, conventions and stuff. Um, and, uh,

1:42:03i.e., we would have to check his website to find out more about that. Um, but, um, once we get the podcast going, we will make After All the the the book available through ordering and stuff like that. So, that's probably what you're going to have to wait for. Or, you can come see Cruciatus because we typically bring them with us, uh, in case there is anyone. Uh, we don't sell a whole lot, but, you know, we sell a handful of them, you know, at at any given show that we might do. Um, we typically have them. We play Dragon Con, uh, every year and we typically have them at Dragon

1:42:37Con. So, that's that's a thing. Um, but, um, yeah, once the podcast gets going, I think that, um, you know, that's that's when you'll start being able to find things I know you have a really beautiful merch setup. Um, will you bring, um, these things with you to the shows in Texas? Um, yeah, yeah. So, we're not going to bring our Cruciatus superstore to Texas, but we're going to bring a lot of stuff. So, um, you know, hopefully hopefully we have something for everyone. Um, I don't know that we're going to bring, you know, all different t-shirt designs that seems like we have. Um, you know, because

1:43:21somebody has to work all that and they have to be able to manage it and set it up and and get things going like that. But, we'll bring as much as we possibly, you know, can, um, you know, within reason. Um a question from Dusty Chalk. Uh my always question, writing on the road, yay, nay, or it's complicated. Writing on the road. In the old days, I absolutely wrote on the road. Um the Let's see. Um the Tears single. The Tears single. That whole thing was produced, recorded, and put together while on the road. you know, there's been a there's been a couple songs like that, but

1:44:15but mostly not. Mostly not. And I I think the the reason for that is because of the way that I write does not lend itself towards writing on the road particularly. So, I told you I write from the bottom up as as opposed to the to the top down. Um so um Yeah, I I want to be in the studio. I want to feel the bass. I want to um I I need that you know, cognitive like feedback, you know? Um Yeah, so I I I I don't do much writing of music on the road. Writing writing uh so, after all stuff, maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

1:45:09I I I love that you uh describe the the visceral feeling as well, cuz I I imagine that's actually what brings um the feeling of dance to your music. I know you have dancers on stage, but people love to dance to your music. So, I imagine from the bottom up, that's why. it's like, "Oh, the energy of dancing. I feel it." But that But for me, that was a a major part. I used to love to I mean, when I was a when I was a a kid, I you know, I went to these clubs. We used to have them. I don't know if they have these things anymore.

1:45:40It's really too bad if they don't, but we had these all-ages clubs. And um, you know, the all-ages clubs were always goth, industrial, you know, alternative clubs. And uh um, you know, you'd go and and and, you know, dance. And so, I wanted to write music that kids like myself wanted to dance to, you know? Um, so, you know, yeah, that's you know, that's that's a lot of the the thing. But when writing the music, I you know, I do. I want to feel it. I want to experience it. I want to, you know, know what it's going to be like. But I will say this, and you know,

1:46:17to anyone writing music or writing, you know, just written word or making art or anything like that, when you make something, right? And you have it you have it in its finished state, and you're like, "Oh, this is so good. It's so good Oh my goodness, it's so good." Once you go through the process of putting it out there, okay? It loses layers. It loses some of that that Um, I I I tell you honestly, you have to make it 10 times better than you want it to be so that it's as good as you wanted it to be when it gets out there because

1:46:56it's like the act of putting it out runs it through, you know, all kinds of things that just make it not nearly as good as it felt like it was, you know? You have really push yourself to the to the max to get to kind of ground zero, you know? Mm. I love that. Yeah, absolutely. I cuz it gosh, I mean, you think about it like, you know, from the conception into the studio out into even if it's streaming, right? Um it does go through many layers. It goes through many layers and and the thing is is that, you know, you know, sometimes, you know, you you feel like

1:47:36it, you know, it sounds amazing and it sounds, you know, really good, but I, you know, I I challenge, you know, anyone to make something that you think is wonderful and then put it in front of people and watch their reactions. Mhm. You know, you watch the reactions and you start going, "Oh, oh, they're not getting this and oh, they're not getting that and I should have made this stronger or I should have I should have brought this out more or, you know, they're not hearing this or they're not they're not hearing that, you know?" And and you know, it's it's it's a difficult thing making art.

1:48:10Making music, making, you know, you know, written word, anything. When you put yourself out there, not only are you putting your soul out there, you know, for for people to say, "Oh, this guy sucks. He's so awful, you know?" One of my favorite comments of all time was this person online they said, "This band would be so good if they just got rid of that singer." But But, you know, the thing is is that I mean, that's his opinion. Maybe maybe they would be. Um but I I you know, I think the thing is is that people can be brutal. People say the meanest, nastiest, you know, you

1:48:49know, things. They They say things that, you know, about you. They say things towards you. You know, even normal, well-meaning, "Oh, this band is terrible." Or this this singer is a complete dis- Well, you know, I'm a human being and, you know, that didn't feel good. but I think that on some level people feel like they own you. Like you are a a a product that, you know, they have some ownership in or um that just by being out you are like an a non-player character or something, you know? Um and you know, they don't they you know, Lady Gaga Lady Gaga is a real

1:49:33person. You know, Lady Gaga has feelings. Lady Gaga does, you know, she, you know, takes showers and uses the bathroom just like everybody else, you know, what I mean? Like the the fact of the matter is people put her into a a particular place and, you know, they feel like they can say anything they want about her. you know, that's unfortunate that people, you know, feel that way. And And I think, you know, they do the same thing, you know, obviously to a lesser extent because I'm not Lady Gaga, but um they do the same thing, you know, to some extent with me. And you know, I I

1:50:12read things that people write. And sometimes people write the loveliest, most beautiful things. And sometimes people write nasty, scathing, you know, things. Like my my daughter was showing me um you know, some people were talking about me and and and the comments some guy says, "Oh, yeah, you know, this guy I saw him eating at Applebee's and he scarfed down, you know, like you know, three uh you know, full-size meals and blah blah blah." And I'm like, "I've never eaten at Applebee's in my

1:50:41But that doesn't that doesn't keep somebody from saying that. And it and it also doesn't prevent people from believing it. And and, you know, any any of the people that are watching this thing, you know, I'm sure you've run into someone that says something nasty about you. Now, imagine if that is happening, but they're, you know, saying it to, you know, thousands and thousands of people and it catches fire because you're, you know, somebody that that, you know, you know, has made something. Yeah, it's it's not exactly fun, but I I guess it's it's, you know, the price of of of uh doing business. Well, it's also the price I suppose of

1:51:30having the courage to share um your art in the world. Um and um I I everyone I suppose has their reasons for making those kinds of comments. Um you know, but I I feel like

1:51:46it's like ultimately um if you're fortunate, like you get to connect with people that really get it. And then in that sense, it's like they lift you up.

1:51:56Yeah, but you know what? You you hit the nail on the head because the thing is for all the people that say the terrible nasty things, right? Um you also have the people that say, "Yeah, you saved my life. Yeah, um this means more to me than anything." Or, you know, "You were the soundtrack to my adolescence." Or, you know, whatever the case may be. You know, "My my family member died and I would not have made it through, you know, without this song." You know, that is the stuff that that that makes up the ground for, you know, the people that accuse you of, you know, horrible

1:52:32things or or say that you're um you know, a terrible person or, you know, I don't know. I've read everything under the sun about myself. And I'm like, "Wow, I'd love to meet me someday really interesting."

1:52:48Oh my gosh, if only. That would be such an interesting story, wouldn't it? If you if if that entity existed of your alter ego that was created online. It's a [laughter] It's a a Kahlil Gibran. Kahlil Gibran's one of my my, you know, favorite um writers. Um but Kahlil Gibran wrote um something and I and I'll just uh uh uh the Reader's Digest of it is every every day at the same time of year the Jesus of religion and the Jesus of history got together and and uh had a discussion over a meal. At the end they would say, "Brother, I love you dearly but I fear we shall never agree on

1:53:29And I thought that's very interesting because there is to every person, um, you know, what people believe of them and you know, what, you know, is actually true of and those things don't always align. We live in this strange world where we believe that consensus makes truth. you know, where oh, if enough people believe this is the situation, then that's the situation. You know, um, but our physics is not dependent upon our You know, and, um, you know, I don't know. I I've heard this, um, that I forget where I heard it, but it was sort of like um, a three blind men describing an elephant

1:54:18and one of them is on the trunk end, one of them is on the tail end, one of them is in the middle and they all have different descriptions. Um, yeah. So, I think until you actually experience the person or the thing

1:54:32Yeah. You know. But even when you do that, you know, like, um, you know, every every car crash, you know, that people watch happen in a different way, every every football game, uh, that, you know, you know, two different, uh, rooting sides, you know, get to describe the play that happened, have a entirely different perspective on what happened. And so, you can have same set of circumstances and based upon your biases, based upon your perspective, based upon your point of view, um, you know, the the the truth is is that we see things in different ways. You know, um, you know, cultural, uh, you know,

1:55:10ideas, um, you know, you know, religious, uh, you know, ideas, political ideas. These all things all affect the way we interpret the world around us. You know, and I and that's one of the things I think if people were just willing to, you know, I maybe maybe cut each other a little bit more slack. You know, I I I just I don't understand the sort of you know, tribal, uh, you know, mindset that, you know, that people, you know, seem to have. You know, think for yourself. Um, and be open to other people's perspective. Um, we had, uh, some more questions.

1:55:51Okay. Let's go. Um, so, um, Princess Shamira, um, said if the crew shadows had their own fragrance, what it would it smell like? vanilla and cinnamon and nutmeg and amber and Let me think here. I don't know. That's That's mostly right, I think. That smell That sounds lovely. I was like, that smells lovely.

1:56:29That sounds like a a lovely smell. so, um, uh, Nymph A Dreams says, "What channel and platform will After All be on? Do you Do you know that?"

1:56:41know yet. I have not decided. That's actually one of our one of the things holding us up is because there's pros and cons to everything. And once once you make a decision, you're in it for the long haul that way. So, you um, because changing over becomes True. Yeah, definitely. I think I think we're trying to make multiple platforms, but we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. Um, let's see. Uh Oh, uh by the way, we're afterall uh afterall.quest. a f t e r a l l dot q u e s t So, not a whole lot there, but there's about, you know, five pages of some

1:57:24background information and a number of drawings that I did of uh of of some of the characters. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, I can't wait to go down the rabbit hole. Um, let's see. This is um uh Jack Radical um 8745. Um, hi Rogue, Annabelle Lector here. Um, is there anything more that we the fans can do that we're not since streaming has made things so complicated for artists? We want to do all we can for your art. you know, honestly, uh you know, uh you know, this is this is like preaching to the choir because um I I I know this particular person um and

1:58:06she's been very very supportive of us. Um, but yeah, you know, I I think that you know, uh um you know, supporting the songs, supporting the shows, supporting, you know, the the the stuff when we put it out. And and you know, maybe we do change up. I think that's where I was going with this and and you know, start looking at things like Patreons or or um you know, some of that kind of stuff, but I I'm just so old-fashioned. I just want to make stuff and and sell it to you instead of you know, or or give it to you because that's kind of how it works. Um, but I I

1:58:42just I don't I I I I hate the idea of like, "Oh, here, give me money and you know, I'll uh um trading I guess money for access is what it seems like, you know, um um times just doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, I don't know. But, yeah, you know, support everything and and really, you know, spread the word and play people the songs and go to the clubs and ask the DJ to play the song and when they go, "Oh, what? I don't know that song." You go, "Oh, great. Well, you can download it for free right here, you know." That's awesome. And I know I believe you

1:59:22Um and um I I do believe you also have your online store as well. Yeah, yeah, we have an online store, you know, we have um you know, uh you know, a bunch of different shirts and products and stuff like that and, you know, to to be honest, um we I really appreciate when people buy things in the online store. It really does help. But, our markup is is really small, you know, so that's that's that's something that we're really doing to keep, you know, Croshatta's name, you know, out there on on people's t-shirts to give them opportunity to buy t-shirts. But, the the markup for us is is

2:00:00I I think people might be a little shocked at how how little money um is made on each sale. Um but, uh um but, it's important, you know, it's it's important. Um you know, the But, yeah, you know, supporting all the um and uh you know, we do have the donate buttons uh on the website. Um if you go to any of the areas where, you know, the free songs are, you know, um you know, we we do take donations and, you know, they help. Um And uh um you know, you you you might be buying groceries for me, you know, but uh um but, you know, the the fact of the

2:00:41matter is is that um you know, that that's a that's a a a very appreciated thing that that happens and Yeah, I mean you have shows coming up um you know this week and it's it's amazing to me when you think about how much goes into to putting a show together and and the history of all the things that have gone into making those shows even the music itself and and the rehearsals and Exactly. Yeah, and I put I don't know if you saw on online. I did this this is I think I don't think I've done this before. Um but for this um show I put up

2:01:22a yeah, a song in rehearsal. You know, we're literally uh uh playing in rehearsal. I think that might be something that people might be interested in. Maybe I should put that up more often. I don't know. But um

2:01:34Yeah. it was I it it got I I thought it got a pretty good response in terms of of plays and and you know, a day and a half it had 3,000 plays, you know, so I mean that's that's not that's not too shabby, you know, especially cuz videos and videos of length usually don't get a whole lot, you know, so I thought oh that's that's that's kind of a it's kind of a good sign, so. Yeah, absolutely. I mean especially when you have like um you know, you get the snapshot of the show itself, but then to actually get an understanding of like oh

2:02:07this is this is what went into putting that show together. I think is amazing.

2:02:12here's a here's another like little insight, you know, into Croshere as I tell you what. Um we practice with you know lights and sound and the whole nine yards, you know, what I mean? Because um I want my people in the dark trying to play an instrument, you know, fumbling around, you know, with lights in their eyes and because that's what's going to be like on stage. So you know, I I I I I I used to tell, you know, the band, you know, you need to be able to play this stuff you know, blindfolded and hanging upside down from your toes, you know? Um

2:02:46because you you do. I mean, all the things that go wrong on a stage is just, you know, incomprehensible. Remember we were on tour, um Bella Morte opened for us. This was many years ago. And um they were jumping around on the stage and um the guitar player went through the stage. Like, right through the stage and um he kept playing guitar, but his head was sticking out of the stage cuz the the boards had broken on the stage. It was an old stage and the boards had broken and they were jumping, you know, like doing their thing. And the board broke and he fell. And he but he's still

2:03:28playing. And they're, you know, punk rock, let's go, you know, um and uh and so they finished their song before they pulled him out of there. but, you know, the thing is is that you know, we followed them with a giant hole in the stage. Um I think we put a board over it or something. I don't remember what we did. but the the you know, thing is is that stuff happens that you're not expecting. And um so we try and create a more stage-like environment when we practice. So that's that's something that we we've done. Um you know, and you know, we bring the

2:04:02lights down, turn all the the you know, moving heads and whatever, you know, on and and and literally perform uh uh um you know, in uh uh in the studio um with you know, lights and sound real loud and you know, I don't know how other bands do it, but that's how we do it. Yeah, I know I I and um I saw the clip and it it was thinking about um I think I read uh that Prince would also do rehearsals like in full form. Like he would go all out, you know, with with his dancing and his playing and his singing and that's what he expected of

2:04:37his whole band as well. Yeah, yeah. I don't mind being in the same company as Prince.

2:04:47I I do like think about though that you were talking about the the donation and I'm like with your shows coming up just just putting some food for thought for for people is that it also helps pay for the gas. So putting gas in the tank and you know helping to make things easier. No, well I mean the the thing is there's there's lots of expenses and so many expenses and and I mean most of what I was talking about before is you know band related expenses but from a personal standpoint. You know. You know like I go out with my daughter you know she's she's got to eat you know

2:05:25You you can't you can't go oh well I'll just you know make you some mac and cheese tonight you know it's like okay we got to find something that you can eat and. You know you pay for it there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff you would not expect you know that that goes into it and. You know it is it is what it is and you know when we do one off shows like this because this is effectively what it is it's you know it's it's two shows but they're one off shows. Um. It's not like a tour you know you're not

2:05:55renting a bus and you basically have a you know a home away from home you know you're in a you're in a situation where you got to kind of figure out ways to do all the things you got to find ways to you know to pay the bills and and you know back home and and and keep all that. You know going and and. And at the same time investing money in in the things that are necessary to make the shows happen. Absolutely. It's it's going back to the idea of that you are also a human that needs things like food and.

2:06:29Yes yes. I'm not I'm not so sure. Not so Well, um. are there any other if there's any other questions? I'm seeing some people that are looking forward to your shows coming up. I'm seeing some people that are going to be there, which is awesome. I look forward to meeting you all and playing a show and hopefully we don't disappoint you. I'm sure it's going to be fantastic. Oh, and I see one more question. I'm so sorry. It's Shot is Y655. How do you decide what to use as cover

2:07:09I don't know. It's whatever moves me. In the in the old days I just you know, I did all the cover art myself. Um you know, in in recent years like I said my my daughter did one because I was just you know, blown away by what she did and so you know, it worked. Um I usually have an idea of what I want. Um Dominique Kennedy is an artist that's done a lot of stuff with us. Like I said she did some stuff with the After All thing too. She's done a bunch of the um you know, songs that we've done. sometimes it's a it's kind of

2:07:45collaborative effort. She and I will you know, work together and put some things together like that. Really just depends. It depends on how much time there is. It depends on you know, the mood of the song. It depends on you know, any number of things. I guess like I said in the old days I had a little bit more of a of a of a you know, form to it, but you know, these days I'm a little bit more like if it moves me, it works. Awesome. Well, dear friends, thank you so much for taking the time to hang out with all of us for your

2:08:19wonderful questions and your shares. It's been such a joy, Rogue. I really appreciate like you taking your time and I am so excited about your After All coming up. I'm definitely going to be going and checking that out. I'm really excited about this, so yeah. And look Look for Kitsukomori, too, because Kitsukomori has his own um uh uh Instagram. Um so, you know, the the um Ben Kingsbury um you know, puts the puts together the Instagram for it. So, you know, some of the art that I do goes up there on that and you know, he likes to play with little I don't know, little filters and stuff

2:09:06you know, do things with Kitsukomori, but you know, I I I expect some things to happen with that, too. I think that's a fun story um and uh it's it's it's kind of a almost like a our take on the Ninja Turtles, if you will, you know, uh um you know, Skyfox, the And Kitsukomori Kitsune's a a fox spirit. Komore means bat in in Japanese yeah, he's a

2:09:32um how do how do we find this? Um you can find that uh let's see if I can I can look and see what is this? think that Oh, I I think uh our Scott Yeah, Scott just dropped it in the chat. Um yes. Awesome. Thank you, Scott. I'm going. Uh yeah, my my poor internet skills are are

2:10:08themselves on on live TV or whatever. We found it. We found it.

2:10:15Um well, um thank you all so much again. Um please uh Uh, continue your beautiful support of Rogue and the Crew Shadows. Um, Rogue, thank you so much again. Um, it's been such a wonderful, inspiring Um, sending much love to all of you. Thank you. Yeah, bye to everyone and thank you all. Um, thank you for tuning in and hopefully those of you who are able to come to our show in Texas will or one of our shows in Texas will make it. And, yeah, and if not, you know, let's let's find some some way to see each other. All right. Bye, everyone.

2:10:59Thank you so much.