What if they say no?
Sending the first ask is the scary part, waiting for the answer is the hard part: how Tash handles rejection, silence, follow-ups, and the dates that refuse to fall.
“No” is inevitable. But so is “yes.” I’m at a point in my music career where I am a part of a wonderful network of friends in the live music community. When I first started with booking, I remember feeling so intimidated with sending off that first message to ask for a show.
Hitting send
Rejection is a part of the booking process, and it definitely helps me to remember that while your music might not be everyone’s cup of tea, there are people out there who will connect with it. With that in mind, I understand that hitting that Send button can be pretty scary at first. Over time, the beauty of sticking to any one thing is to witness the growth around where you place your energy and time.
Rona Rougeheart of SINE has sent plenty of those messages, and on episode 26 she described how she reads a no now, and what it used to do to her.
From episode 26 · January 19, 2026
SINE
Rona Rougeheart of SINE on reading a no as a matter of timing rather than a verdict.
“If you apply for a festival or whatever it is and then you get the no response, you’re like, that’s a bummer. But maybe you weren’t quite ready for it, and the next time you apply you’re going to be higher up, because you’ll have had that experience and that growth. That’s the way I look at nos, when people say no or they bypass you. I used to get upset or sad about it.”
When they write back
I really appreciate when people take the time to write me back, even if it’s a rejection letter. Sometimes the rejection letters aren’t very nice, but at least they’ve taken the time to write back. I always express gratitude back to the people who have taken that time.
The people on the other side of the inbox feel the same way. Krystal Garcia books shows in Dallas as Distorted Heartbeat, and on episode 18 she said a plain no is a courtesy she tries to return.
From episode 18 · June 13, 2025
Krystal Garcia of Distorted Heartbeat
Krystal Garcia of Distorted Heartbeat on why a quick no is a kindness, from a promoter’s side of the inbox.
“I personally like it when people just tell me no, so I know to move on. So I try to return that same kind of favor when people reach out to me for something. I always try to respond: yes, I could do it, no, I can’t do it, whatever. I always try to respond in some sort of way, just to be courteous and not waste their time.”
And if you don’t hear back at all, just move on to the next person or place and keep trying. I have seen that experience in making music, performing, and even booking all seems to grow together. The more time and energy you put into anything, you inevitable will grow in some way and discover new things that will work specifically for you.
Clint Carney spent years mailing CDs to labels before any of them answered. On episode 4 he was honest about what finally got a reply.
From episode 4 · January 27, 2025
Clint Carney
Clint Carney on seven years of sending records out, and the persistence that finally got a label to write back.
“Mostly I got ignored… I finally started getting feedback from labels, and partially I think it was me just annoying the living [expletive] out of them until they just said, you know, we better just write this kid back.”
Patience is a practice
I’ll be completely honest with you in saying that having to wait for people to get back to you is probably one of the most excruciating and frustrating parts of tour booking. While some people can be a complete dream in communicating quickly and kindly, there is a vast number of people who can take days, weeks, and even months to communicate back if they do at all. You will learn as you’re building your network what people’s different styles of communication are.
If I’m familiar with certain people taking time to get back to me and have had solid shows with them, I will make a note that I’ve sent a communication to them and date it. My general rule of thumb is that if I’m between 5-6 months away from a show, I’ll give it a good 2-3 weeks before I follow up with them, if I have not heard back. If I’m 3-4 months out, I give it 1 week.
That window is not only a band’s habit. Elizabeth Inglese runs YES Music Productions, and on episode 9 she put the same number on it from the promoter’s calendar.
From episode 9 · March 10, 2025
Elizabeth Inglese of YES Music Productions
Elizabeth Inglese of YES Music Productions on how far out a promoter needs the ask to land.
“If we wait too late, we don’t have places anymore, and especially in the aftermath of the pandemic when everybody was touring and every room was booked up everywhere… I tell people, like, six plus months is usually the going rate for getting stuff booked. Three, maybe. But you just want to have that adequate time.”
Less than that, if there is a pressing matter, I will look for different ways to communicate besides email like a DM on social media or touching base with someone who may work with them. If I have not worked with people before, I look for alternate places to play that include places within the same city or even considering different cities that may work for my route. On my end, no matter how long or short people take to communicate with me, I make it a practice of writing back within 24 hours. On the occasions that I’m ill, traveling, or completely swamped, that time frame may get stretched a bit, but I would say that 95% of the time I respond within 24 hours.
Don’t get attached to any one date
I’ve had so, so many tours in which I still have many dates left to book in what seems like such little time. I’ve had my share of freak outs in which I’m telling my bandmates, “Oh man…I don’t know if I’m going to get this one together.” To which they always respond, “You’ve totally got this…and even if we have a bunch of days off…so what, it’ll be fun!” One big thing to remember is to not get too attached to any one date. Flexibility is key in tour booking. Remember that there are a lot of moving parts to put together a date…the venue being available, the other bands you’re playing with being available, staff at venue to run the show, other shows happening on the same date.
Also something to remember is to not take it personally if you don’t hear back from people. It’s hard to know what’s going on in other people’s lives, and there can be innumerable reasons why you’re not hearing back. If you don’t hear back, just shift gears and keep looking for a place that will line up for you.
Earlier in that same episode 18 conversation, Krystal gave the version of this advice she hands to anyone who starts reaching out to venues.
From episode 18 · June 13, 2025
Krystal Garcia of Distorted Heartbeat
Krystal Garcia on being ghosted as the default, and staying consistent until you get an actual answer.
“When you are reaching out to venues and booking agents and everything, be prepared to be ghosted, like, all the time. All the time, you will be ghosted. So get used to it… One way I can win them over is just being determined and consistent. Be determined and consistent, and keep going, and don’t stop until you get a no, until you get some sort of answer.”
I don’t know if you are a solo artist or if you have people in your life to help remind you of the fact that you’ve got this, but I’d like to be one of the people in your corner to remind you…you’ve got this! And…don’t forget that it really isn’t the end of the world if you have more days off than you’d like. You can absolutely figure out ways to maximize your time on tour even on days off. More about that later.