Show Etiquette: Kindness goes a long way…
The music community is smaller than it looks, and everyone in it, from the sound person to the headliner, deserves the same respect. Tash on the rules of the road AL1CE lives by: be on time, honor your agreements, be good to each other, and step around the drama.
“A rising tide lifts all boats.” ~John F. Kennedy
We all inhabit the same community
I like to look at the music community as just that…a community. And community is an ideology in which you are a part of a family. Whether an artist, a promoter, a sound person, or a venue owner and staff, or a concert goer supporting a live show, we all inhabit the same community. I think it’s important to remember to treat people with the same kindness and respect that we would show any loved one. The community is much smaller than you can realize, and you may start running into some of the same people again and again or at least know and recognize people who are connected.
Krystal Garcia books shows in Dallas as Distorted Heartbeat, and on episode 18 she said the same thing from the promoter’s chair, with one rule attached.
From episode 18 · June 13, 2025
Krystal Garcia of Distorted Heartbeat
Krystal Garcia of Distorted Heartbeat on how small the music world is, and why you never burn a bridge in it.
“This world is so much smaller than you think, especially the music part. Never burn a bridge. Even if it’s with someone who you don’t think is part of the whole music group that you’re interested in. Never burn bridges, because somehow, some way, everyone’s connected, and it’s going to come back to you.”
That being said, just because a person isn’t going to perform onstage doesn’t mean they are any less worthy of respect.
Curse Mackey has spent decades on both sides of that line, as a touring headliner and as the local opener for bands coming through his town. On episode 21 his advice for a support act started with saying your name, and went straight to the people who are not in any band at all.
From episode 21 · July 21, 2025
Curse Mackey
Curse Mackey on being a good support act: say your name, be easy to work with, and find your house sound person first.
“Just say your name. Don’t be too shy. Be nice. Be a good support act. If you’re an opening act, be there to help make it a great show, and be really easy to work with and prompt and courteous and nice. And another one is always be very cool with the local sound and the people that work in the club: sound man, engineer, lighting person, whatever they may have. I always let them know, and I find who my house sound person is so I can establish that rapport, and hopefully let them know that I am also nice and fun to work with and know what I’m doing.”
The sound person decides how you sound to the room. Introducing yourself by name costs nothing and is remembered.
Here are some rules of the road we like to live by:
Be considerate
Time
Be on time for your load in. If you need extra time to load, make sure to communicate that ahead of time with the venue, promoter, and sound person. Things can happen to make you run late, but try to make that an exception instead of a rule. If you’re running late, let people know.
Bellhead run their touring like a business, and on episode 38 they put the reason for showing up on time in terms of who is waiting on you.
From episode 38 · July 20, 2026
Bellhead
Bellhead on why a weekend band still has to be professional: the people at the venue are relying on you for their living.
“You have to treat this, even if you’re not a full-time professional band, as 100% your gig. Even if you’re a band that maybe goes out just on weekends or hasn’t done a lot of touring, you need to remember that you have to be professional, because you are going to places and you’re working with people who this is their full-time job. This is their main source of income. They are relying on you to do your part, be it be on time, be it fill a room with people.”
Be efficient with your setup and stay within the allotted time of your setup. You want to leave time for other artists to set up as well, even if you’re the headliner.
Start your set on time and stay within the time you’ve agreed on with the venue. Sometimes the promoter or venue will make changes the day of show and push your set back or ask you to either shorten or lengthen your set. Flexibility is great, but plan on running your set that you agreed on. Don’t be that opening band who starts an hour (or hours) late, goes much longer than planned, and makes the headliner go on at midnight on a Monday after taking all their fans and leaving themselves. That’s lame. Really lame. And yes, that has happened on numerous occasions to us. Internally we have a wall of shame in our band of bands or people we won’t work with again who clearly have no respect for others.
Daniel Graves of Aesthetic Perfection has opened arena shows and headlined clubs, and on episode 28 he was asked what makes a great opening band. His answer started with the set time.
From episode 28 · February 9, 2026
Daniel Graves
Daniel Graves of Aesthetic Perfection on knowing your place as a support act, and why fighting for stage time misses the point.
“A lot of opening bands, they fight for as much time on stage as possible. But as an opening band, you need to understand that the people are not there for you. They did not buy that ticket to see you.”
A minute earlier he had put it another way: his crew prides itself on being easy to work with, and “knowing your place” is on the list. The set time you agreed to is the whole job of a support act. Play it well and get off.
Honor your agreements
And try to arrange them ahead of time. I know not everyone you work with will honor theirs, but be the people that are known for being honorable.
Be good to each other. And yourself.
Yes, in the immortal words of Bill and Ted, these are most excellent and wise words of wisdom.
Jason Corbett fronts ACTORS and has been the headliner for a long list of opening bands. On episode 20 he described what he does on every one of those nights, and why.
From episode 20 · July 7, 2025
Jason Corbett of ACTORS
Jason Corbett of ACTORS on checking in with the opening band, and why careers go up and down.
“No matter how tired I am, I try to introduce myself to the opening band, ask them if they need anything, and make sure they’re comfortable and they have a good time, too. I just try and be friendly and let people know that I don’t think we’re better than anybody. At any given time, that band that’s opening up for you could be headlining and you’re opening up for them. Careers are up and down. Sometimes you’re a real hot band and then sometimes you’re not. So I just try and be real with everybody, and take the time to acknowledge them as people and as bands.”
Taking the higher road
There will definitely be people out there who test your patience. And situations in which, yes, you are absolutely in the right.
“Act well your part; there all the honour lies.” ~Alexander Pope
Like any family or community, drama is inevitable. There can be micro-dramas with one person or between a small group or major ones that can shake a community to its very core. The closer you are to the people involved, the more it can shake you as well. I cannot say I’m an expert on navigation, but I’ve found trying to stay open and compassionate, as well as learning to listen can be very helpful traits to remember. I sometimes feel like a bull in a china shop when I’ve communicated with people in a certain scene, unaware that they may not want to work with certain people we’ve included in a show. I’ve been so fortunate in that I find that people are willing to forgive with sincere apologies and that most people are very reasonable.
Near the end of episode 19, Tash asked JC Lobo of Ritualz what he would tell an artist going out for the first time. Most of his list was practical: plan your routes, keep your money safe, don’t drink before you play. One item was this.
From episode 19 · June 20, 2025
JC Lobo of Ritualz
JC Lobo of Ritualz on the people who feel entitled to be mean because they are playing a show, and what a scene needs instead.
“Always be nice to people. Don’t antagonize anyone, because I’ve met so many people that do that, that feel like they’re entitled to be mean to people just because they’re playing a show. They feel they’re an artist and they’re better than someone else. Don’t do that. Being an artist is about individual expression as much as it is about community, and communities can only thrive if everyone is on the same positive wavelength, trying to help everyone grow.”
On rare occasions we have encountered people who are not only dramatic but also quite hateful. On these occasions, we’ve found it best to side step to the left and leave the drama where it is.